Jump .:: Bill K. One-Shot written for Bill's Cutie <3

Okay, my loves, before you read this I just want you to know this IS A TRAGIC STORY. I'm trying my hand at tragedy, and no I dont WANT to make you cry, but it's tragedy, come on. Anna, this ones for you, and I know when you and Bill are together, and he... (God forbid) passed on, I'm pretty sure this is how you feel. Everyone who's read this so far says that the ending is pure stupidity, but I say it's love. I have a pretty twisted world though.

Read on...if you dare.

Jump .:: Bill K. One-Shot written for Bill’s Cutie aka MFP

Bill and Anna lay in a field of flowers, in the middle of nowhere, the sun, trees, and cloudless blue sky above them. It was nowhere to everyone else, but to them, it was heaven. It was just the two of them, and maybe the occasional bird or butterfly. The only things Anna could smell were the flowers, the fresh green grass, and Bill’s soft but musky scent. Bill and Anna stared into each other’s eyes in silence. No words were needed to communicate between them. It was as though they could read one another’s souls.

“Ich Liebe dich.” Bill suddenly whispered to her, wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her body closer to his.

Anna smiled at him. “Ich Liebe dich auch.” But Bill didn’t smile back.

“What’s wrong?” she asked him.

“You know I’d die for you, right? I’d take a bullet for you anytime, anywhere, and anyplace.” Bill paused. “If you ever – Gott forbid – died, I’d kill myself.”

“No you wouldn’t. I’d be watching over you to make sure you didn’t. I’d be your guardian angel.” Anna propped herself on her elbow, lines of worry appearing on her forehead. “Bill, why are you saying these things? Is something wrong?” she rubbed the arm of her long time boyfriend lovingly.

“Well…I have something to tell you.” Bill’s voice nearly cracked as tears slowly formed in his eyes. He couldn’t believe this was happening. “I…I’m…”

“What is it?” Anna asked. “You’re scaring me.”

“I’m dying.” He looked up at the girl he loved, hating the fact he wasn’t strong enough to prevent something he couldn’t. No one could prevent what was happening to him. “I don’t have much time left, but I want to spend it all with you, just like I would if this weren’t happening.”

Anna was too shocked to say anything. Surely he was joking! Bill was perfectly healthy ever since he quit smoking a few weeks before, and according to his twin, Tom, he was very much happier with Anna than he was when he was alone. This was a prank or something. Maybe he was testing her love and loyalty towards him, though she hadn’t any idea why he would so such a thing, since she told him she loved him on a daily basis. Either it was a test or a horrible nightmare. It had to be. Anna had no idea what she would do if he was being serious with her.

Anna did remember Bill had been coughing often lately, even a coughing up blood a few times… He’d lost some weight, making him look even thinner than he already was, and he’d been eating a lot less, saying something about it being hard to swallow. It was rather strange, since he and Tom never turned down offers for food, especially Anna’s cooking. Sometimes she’d surprise them and cook for them so they didn’t have to go out as always. Bill also had been having shortness of breath daily, but Anna didn’t suspect anything serious – Bill always told her: “I’m fine, Engel. Please don’t worry about me.”

“That’s not funny.” Anna told him sternly, rolling onto her back, her face turned towards him, and her lips in a straight line.

“Since when is someone dying supposed to be funny?”

“You…You’re kidding, right? You’re not actually going to die, right?” Anna had tears of her own forming in her eyes. “You’re not going to leave me here alone; you’re staying with me, right?”

“I wish,” Was his reply. [I wish.

“Bill…why?” Anna let the salty tears fall, and Bill scooted closer to her, wiping them away with the thumbs of his hands.

“I didn’t want to know.” Bill answered. “Tom knows, you can ask him. They just told me I was dying, but I have a bit of time left. And I’m going to stay with you the entire time. And even after I die, I’ll still be with you.” He put his hand right over her heart. “I’m right here.”

“It’s not the same!” Anna wept. “I can’t see you, or touch you, or kiss you.”

“I’ll be able to. I can see you, and how beautiful you are, and how you’ll grow to be a breathtaking woman, and have a family, and get married – “

“Stop. Just stop, Bill.”

“What? Why? I thought you liked children.”

“I do, but I always thought you’d be the one to raise them with me.” Anna turned a light shade of pink as she confessed this to him.

“Oh, Anna.” Bill ran his hand through her brown hair. “I…I always thought the same for you.” Anna then sniffled and the tears fell freely once again.

“Hey, don’t cry.” Bill rubbed her back as she sat up.

“Why shouldn’t I?” Anna nearly shouted, and Bill widened his eyes in shock. She’d never shouted at him before. “My reason for living is leaving me. The reason I get up in the morning, the reason I’m not dead,” Bill winced when she said that word, but Anna took no note of it and continued her rant. “The love of my life is leaving me! Why shouldn’t I cry rivers and lakes, and oceans even?”

“Because I don’t want you to.” He said softly. “It’s one of my final wishes. I want you to go on when I’m gone. Leave me behind, but know I’ll always be with you.”

“Even if it’s one of your final wishes…I can’t promise you that...I’m sorry.”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Bill took Anna home, kissing her goodbye, and then driving off. As much as Bill wanted to stay with her for the rest of his now short life, he knew that he needed to give her time to grasp what was going on, and give her a chance to call Tom.

Anna slung her blue bag onto a kitchen chair of her apartment, and then leaned against the counter, eyeing the phone, and debating whether or not to call Tom and ask what was happening. Did she even want to know? She eventually gave in and grabbed the phone from the modem, and dialed Tom’s number.

“Anna?” Tom answered in his deep voice.

Anna trembled, afraid to say anything, and thinking about hanging up on Tom. Tears formed in her eyes again, and her throat became thick, a knot forming.

“Anna, I know you’re there. I can hear you breathing.”

“T-tom.” She stuttered. “What’s g-going on? What’s happening to Bill?”

Tom’s line was suddenly quiet. Anna heard nothing but silence. She thought Tom had hung up on her until she heard a sigh from his end. This was definitely just as devastating for him as it was for her. Tom and Bill were so close, how was he going to go on without his best friend?

“Tom?” she asked quietly.

“Bill has…lung cancer…” Tom struggled to tell her, it was unimaginable. He’d never thought it would happen. Tom was upset because he hadn’t gotten Bill to quit at the same time he did – Tom blamed himself.

“What?” Anna sobbed. “But he quit!”

“He smoked long enough for the damage to be done…”

“Why didn’t he go to the doctor earlier than this? They could have saved him! They can still save him!”

“I tried to make him go, Anna, I really did. He refused, and he said he was fine all the time, but we both know the reason he’s been taking such a long break from the band is because it’s strenuous for him to sing. He can’t do it. He’s not practicing…and even if he were to get better, it would take a long time for him to be able to sing again. He might not be able to at all.”

“They have to save him!” Anna cried. “This can’t be happening.”

“It’s hard to grasp, I know.” Tom sniffled, but tried to be strong for her and his brother, who might walk in the door at any moment and see him crying. “But it’s best to understand now, because if you lie to yourself, then it’s going to be even harder on you when he is gone.”

“He’s not going anywhere! He’s staying right here with us and he’s going to get better! He has to…”

“Anna, please, listen to me. You can’t do this to yourself. You need to understand that Bill is going to die and there’s nothing that can be done. The doctors said if he’d visited them earlier, then they may have been able to treat it while it was in a younger stage. But it’s too late, we can’t do anything. They’re not even going to operate on him, or try chemotherapy or radiation. They’re going to let him go on and live the rest of the time he has, because it’s what he wants.”

Anna sniffled, and Tom sighed. Maybe he’d been a bit harsh, but she needed to understand. It was for her own good.

“I…I’m sorry, Anna. I didn’t mean for it to come out that rudely, but that’s what it is.”

“Its fine, Tom.” She’d stopped crying and wiped her eyes, black covering the back of her hand from her makeup, but she didn’t really care at that point. “Aren’t you upset about this? You don’t need to be strong for me, Tom. Just for Bill.”

“Me? Of course I’m devastated at even the thought of losing my best friend, my twin. Bill could walk in at any moment though. I prefer to… lose it… alone.”

“Oh.” Anna replied. She should have figured Tom would want to be tough, as always.

Tom thought he hear Bill’s key hit in the lock of the front door to their apartment. “Um, Anna, I think Bill is here. I have to go.”

“Okay, Tom, bye.”

“Bye, Anna.” Tom said, and then hung up the phone.

Anna slumped against the counter, placing the side of her face on the cold marble, not feeling anything but her heart being ripped out of her chest.

Bill had just walked into the door of his and Tom’s apartment, right when Tom had said goodbye to Anna. Tom awkwardly flopped onto the couch and began flipping channels on the TV, trying to look normal for his brother. Bill set his keys on the coffee table and sat next to Tom. There was silence for a few moments, but it was anything but weird between them. Like Bill with Anna, it was as though they could read each other’s minds.

“Does she know?” Bill asked quietly, and Tom set the remote down and turned to face his dying brother.

“Does who know what?” Tom asked, clearing his throat.

“Please, Tom, I’m not an idiot. I know you were talking to Anna when I came in.”

“Yeah, she knows.”

“Good.” Bill’s voice cracked, and he got up from the couch, looking down as he wiped his makeup-free eyes. “I’m tired, Tomi, I’m going to sleep.”

“Okay, ‘night.”

“’Night.” Bill said hurriedly, rushing to his room and shutting the door before slowly shuffling over to his bed, collapsing on it.

“What am I going to do? A month and a half isn’t a long time…” Bill whispered to himself. Bill didn’t want to die, but he didn’t want to go through all the trouble of them trying to cure him when he knew he was in too deep. If only he’d stopped smoking sooner, or if he’d gone to the doctor when he felt ill, maybe he might have been able to be treated for it, instead of leaving everyone and everything behind. Maybe he wouldn’t be hurting Anna so much. It pained him more than whatever he was dying from ever could to know that his angel, his life, his love, was hurting just because he was.

Bill then began to cough, and lose his breath. He sat up on his bed and grasped his throat with one hand, and placing the other on his chest. It burned. He then began to cough more and more and he made his way to the bathroom, shutting the door and leaning on the counter over the sink. Bill looked at his reflection in the mirror, breathing heavily. There were dark circles under his eyes due to the lack of sleep he got, and he was paler than usual. He looked…well, dead.

Bill wheezed and coughed into the sink, the pain making him cry out a bit. He didn’t want to let Tom know he was hurting though, because then Tom would hurt too and Bill would hurt even more, so he silently leant against the wall and slid into a fetal position, swallowing hard and painfully. He placed his hands on either side of his head and began to weep.

Suddenly there was a soft rap on the door of the bathroom and Bill quickly stood up, straightening out his shirt.

“Bill? It was Tom. “Bill, are you okay?”

“Yeah Tom I’m fine.” Bill lied, wiping the stray tears away, but refraining from clearing his throat. It hurt too much.

“Alright…” Tom said wearily, and Bill heard the door to his room close as Tom left.

Bill turned back to the mirror. “You look pathetic.” He told his reflection bitterly. At least this ‘person’ wouldn’t try to make him feel better.

“So pathetic…” he muttered, and then left the bathroom, going back to lie on his bed. Bill stared at the pictures taped to the back of his door, mostly of him, Tom, Joanna, his mother Simone and her husband as of last year, Gordon. As he looked at all the beautiful memories, he wished he could just turn back time and quit smoking when Tom told him to. Now Tom was the smarter twin, he would grow up and have a family, and have a daughter to spoil. A little princess, just like what Bill always wanted. He smiled as he relived his fantasies of having a family with Anna, the two of them growing old together, forever. Bill shook his head of the thoughts. He was only hurting himself more by thinking about it. It could never happen now. Even if he could, he refused to leave Anna with a child to raise on her own. He didn’t want to be one of those guys.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

It had been a month now, and Bill’s condition was worsening by the day. Tom and Anna were with him every day, but today, Bill requested that he and Anna have the house to themselves. Tom merely raised an eyebrow and smirked at the request, but did as he was told anyway.

Anna arrived to find Bill sitting on the couch Indian-style, a blanket around his shoulders. There was popcorn and tea in front of him on the table, and Bill had a movie in his hands. It looked like he was waiting for her to watch it. Anna smiled at the thought, but it was wiped off her face as she watched Bill run his hand over the shiny plastic cover of the DVD case, a sad smile on his face. Anna then acknowledged her presence to him.

“Billi?” she said and he looked up, the sadness disappearing into a wide grin when he saw her.

“Hey, Anna.” Bill patted the spot next to him, and Anna sat down, kicking off her shoes and pulling her legs beneath her, facing him.

He held up the movie case, which had a smiling family on the cover, and Anna realized then why he was sad when he saw it. “Want to watch a movie with me?” he smiled, and she returned it effortlessly. Bill’s smiles were contagious.

“Sure.”

Anna was about to take the movie from Bill’s hands when he pulled it away and stuck out his tongue like a three year old, revealing his silver tongue stud.

“No.” Anna then realized his voice was even hoarser than yesterday. “I want to do it.”

Anna laughed, and then reached for the DVD, but Bill gently pushed her away from it.

“Hey, I may be dying, but I’m not helpless you know. Jeez, you and Tom. It’s the same for you two. I can’t even wipe my own ass anymore without you guys asking if I’m alive.”

Anna felt like that was a slap in the face, and Bill noticed.

“Oh, I’m um, sorry.” He gave her an apologetic look. “I didn’t mean it that way.”

“It’s okay.” Anna chuckled as Bill glanced over his shoulder from where he knelt in front of the DVD player.

“I’m not saying it isn’t true though.”

“Just sit, Bill.”

“Fine, fine.” Bill turned off the lights and sat next to Anna onto the couch, who snuggled into his shoulder.

The time they watched the movie, it was mostly silent, until the very end. Anna hadn’t been exactly paying attention to the screen the entire time – she’d been watching Bill, fascinated by how he smiled when there was a sweet moment, or grimaced when something he didn’t like happened. It was still so hard for her to believe he would be gone in half a month – it was so unreal.

When the movie did end, Bill turned to Anna with a shy smile on his face. There’d been something he’d been waiting until now to do…one last experience he wanted to attempt before he died, something that was so important to him.

“A-Anna? Bill stuttered nervously, and she smiled. He was so cute.

“Yes, Bill?” she replied, not even thinking about what it was he was going to request of her.

“I…I really would like to try something with you…before it’s too late, and I’m stuck in a bed until I’m gone. This is probably the only night we’ll have alone together a-and I…I want to show you.”

“What?” Anna was completely lost. She didn’t know where Bill was going with this.

“Will you…” he began.

“Will I…?” Anna urged him to continue, but he didn’t. “Bill, what do you want?” she asked him softly.

Bill said nothing, only silencing her confusion with a kiss, which was unlike all the other sweet ones he’d ever given her. It was…desperate. Bill led Anna to his room, and no explanation was needed for Anna to understand what Bill wanted.

And that night they gave one another something you can only give once. Bill wrapped his arms around Anna, both of them nearing sleep. But before she fell asleep against Bill’s warm body, she looked out the window to the full moon. Anna smiled in pure contentment, completely ecstatic knowing she was marked by Bill forever.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A week after Anna and Bill had been together, Anna went to his and Toms apartment in the morning, as she did every day. When she knocked on the door, Tom answered as usual, but his eyes were red and he looked very tired. He was…crying?

“Tom?” Anna asked worriedly. “Tom, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?” Anna asked him, but she already knew the answer and tears were flowing out of her eyes. She just needed to hear it for herself.

“Bill…Bill is…” Tom huffed between sobs. “Bill…died…last night…”

“B-but they said…They said he had longer…” Anna began to cry.

“I know they did…” Tom couldn’t say anything else; he didn’t know how to explain. He couldn’t believe it, and neither could Anna. Tom pulled her into a big hug and she cried into his shoulder. Tom shut the door and helped Anna to the couch, sitting next to her. They comforted each other.

I don’t believe it…This can’t be! Bill’s still here… he’s not gone. I’ll wake up from this horrible nightmare and he’ll be holding me, loving me…

Anna continued to tell herself these things each day, knowing she was only lying to herself. Bill was gone – she’d gone to the funeral, but she just couldn’t let go of him. He was there. To her, he wasn’t dead, and it wasn’t in a good way. Anna didn’t understand what was happening. She just let the tears fall, until no more would come.

Anna sat on the bed in her room, just staring at the beige wall which was covered in memories of her and Bill together. She hadn’t visited Tom lately to see how he was doing. Anna didn’t really want to go to their apartment – how Tom could stand to have the presence of his twin lingering in his home was a mystery to her.

She pulled her legs up onto the bed, wrapping her arms around her knees. She felt empty without Bill. There was a hole where her heart should have been, and, unfortunately, she could never have it back. The wound would never heal, because the only person who could make it all better was gone.

Well, in reality, he was. In Anna’s mind, he was there. He was everywhere.

“Anna…?” a soft voice whispered from behind her. Anna turned her head weakly – she hadn’t eaten in a while, and hadn’t slept well in forever. Her eyesight was constantly blurred by the tears that were present there.

When Anna looked to see who was calling her name, she only gasped. Bill was there! He was whole, she could see him. His skin was normal again; his lips were a healthy pink. He was there. She wanted to reach out and touch him, but it was as though she was glued to the bed. For the first time in two weeks, Anna smiled, and it was genuine.

“B-Billi?” she stuttered, so happy to see her love once again she couldn’t even say his name.

“It’s me. I’m here.” ‘Bill’ said to her. He walked – no, it looked more like he gracefully drifted over to her, sitting on the bed next to her. He touched her face and his hands were cold.

“I missed you, why did you have to go?”

“I don’t know, but I’m here now, and I love you.”

“I love you, too. I always will. I’ll never let you go Billi.”

Anna leaned in to kiss Bill, but just then there was a knock on her bedroom door. Who was it? At that moment, she didn’t really care. All she knew was that Bill was here with her, and she hoped he’d be able to stay there forever.

Tom let himself into Anna’s apartment with…Bill’s spare key. He couldn’t take the loneliness anymore. He was hurting, and she was hurting, and right now they needed each other more than ever before to get through this. Tom then set the keys to his Cadillac on the table in the kitchen and went to see where Anna was. Was she even home?

“Anna?” he called, but she didn’t answer.

Maybe she didn’t hear me, Tom thought, then went to the door of her room. The door was closed so he decided to knock, but nobody replied to the sound.

He placed his ear against the door, not hearing any water running, so he figured she was in there, and not in the bath or anything. How come she wasn’t answering? Perhaps she was sleeping, but if her devastation was as bad as his was, the odds were she hadn’t slept in a week or more. Tom then couldn’t take it anymore, and he opened her door, only to find Anna with her eyes closed and her lips puckered, her hand in the air. It looked as though she was going to kiss someone…But there was nobody there. Just…nothing.

“Anna?” Tom raised an eyebrow, wondering what on earth she was doing. She was pulled out of her trance, and opened her eyes to see Tom standing in the doorway. She saw her hand was raised, and what used to be Bill’s angelic face and body was now…air.

She lowered her hand, confusion writing itself all over her face. First, she wondered why Bill wasn’t there, since he was there only a moment ago, and second, why Tom was standing in the door looking at her with a worried expression on his face.

“Tom?” she wondered.

“Yeah, Anna, it’s me.” He replied awkwardly, slipping his hands halfway into his baggy jeans pockets, and finding the floor more fascinating than he should. “Who were you talking to?”

“Bill! I was talking to Bill!” she told him, a smile spreading across her face. “He was here Tom! He really was!”

Tom looked at her, his eyebrows coming together and a frown on his lips. “Anna…Bill is dead. He has been, for two weeks now…”

Anna’s smile turned into a confused expression again. “No…he was here. I touched him…we kissed, Tom. I know what it feels like to kiss Bill.”

She’s hallucinating… Tom concluded. Anna is losing her mind…this has completely ruined her life…

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Anna stood on top of the roof of her apartment building, looking over the edge. Her life had taken a complete turn, and she wanted to end it. There was no reason to live anymore – Bill was telling her to join him. He loved her, wanted her. And if she did as he’d asked, they finally could be together. She loved him enough to give her life – if you could call it that – up for him.

Anna got up to stand on the very edge, watching the cars pass by on the dark streets below. The air was cold, and calm, and she was ready to jump.

“Anna…” Bill was there again, standing next to her, reaching for her hand and kissing her palm. She closed her eyes, bent her knees, and took a deep breath…

“Joanna!” Tom shouted from behind her.

Anna was so startled by Tom she nearly fell off the edge, but she was able to keep her balance. Bill was no longer beside her, and she sighed. She hated to blame Tom, but it was his fault that she wasn’t with Bill at that very moment. If he hadn’t barged in on her then maybe –

“Joanna, what the hell are you doing?!” Tom interrupted her thoughts, slowly walking towards her.

“What does it look like I’m doing, Tom?” she motioned behind her to the city, and then smiled. “I’m going to Bill. And if you’re thinking about stopping me then I’m jumping right now.”

“Anna…Bill is not here. You’re hallucinating. You can’t do this!” Tom pleaded with her.

“Watch me.” Anna challenged, moving one of her feet off and over the edge.

“No! Anna, wait!” Tom cautiously made his way towards her, standing next to Anna and taking her hand in his.

“Tom, I’m going to Bill…” she shook her head, still smiling. “I miss him, I love him, and I know that I will never ever let him go, so I’m going to him. My life is nothing without him.” The next part was nearly a whisper. “I’m nothing without him.”

“I know. I miss him so much too.” Tom sighed, smiling back at her, the cold breeze rushing against them. It was calming. “He’s my twin, my other half.”

“I’m not changing my mind about this. I’m going to Bill today. I’m dying today.” Tears formed and rolled down her cheeks, and Tom sniffled.

“Then…” Tom began. He took a deep breath and continued. “Then I’m coming with you.”

Anna’s eyes widened in shock. “Tom, you don’t have to – “

“No.” Tom cut her off. “It’s hard to function when half of you is missing. I’m not automatic.”

Somehow, in this moment, Anna was able to crack a small smile at Tom through their tears.

“Okay.” Anna said, and turned back to the edge, giving Tom’s hand a reassuring squeeze.

They both took one last deep breath, both feeling the cold air one last time, and stepped closer to the edge. Tom and Anna took one last look down at all the cars below them – it was a long drop, but they weren’t chickening out. They knew what, and who they wanted right then. Tom knew there would be no regrets about his decision. They looked at each other, then closed their eyes, blocking out everything, only thinking of Bill.

Three.

Two.

One.

Jump.

dead.
im crying.

:'S noes.. Sad

Dear god. I can't stop crying, only the idea of them dead makes me cry Sad

You're really good at this

I was crying my eyes out while writing it. It was the hardest thing o write ever! Sad

And thank you Very Happy

No problem Smile

Yeah, I guess you cry while writing it because you get into the story too, and it's you who knows what would happen next and the idea is all in your head, so you see it all, you're a witness, and even if you have the power to stop it, you can't make everything to look like a fairytale, so you go on, until the last breath.

Exactly!

You have out done yourself one more time! Bravo! It felt like I was reading a cliff hanger, every feeling, emotion, it was too much! I loved every second of and I have to say I love tragedies and I love to cry Razz

It made me feel like it's some fairy tale or something, it seemed real and I was fascinated! Seriously hats off! Very Happy

Thank you!!!
It was hard to write, but I took a challenge and I guess I did it right! Razz

I hate it when I cry, although I do it alot. It makes me feel weak! :/
Like I said before, it's a win-win situation. I like to write and I'm glad people like to read it! Razz

Haha no problem. I know it must've been tough because it was so descriptive. Lol, I cry at when cartoon villains die Razz

Yeah it was and I loved every second of it ^^

XD hahahah
Thanx again ^-^

No problem ^^

Omg

I love it though Smile

its sweet & sour. :/
thank youuuu!!! (: whee!

goose bumbs.
and that gay feeling when you're too freaked you feel like a really weak skeleton that everything hurts you, even sitting in my gay chair..
because this is sad.. but brilliantly written.. and full of emotions :/
i dunno what to say.. i love this and at the same time, i hate remembering that billie is a human.. and he'll die one day:/
gosh i wish he'd stop smoking now :/
great job nicoliee<3

:/ its too sad >.<
but thank youuuuu <3

» Down On You .:: Bill K. One-Shot written for Bill's Cutie aka MFP (:
» Practice Makes Perfect .:: Tom K. One-Shot written for Lady MiracLe
» Now It's Time For You & Me .:: Bill Kaulitz One Shot